Phone call received at 2:45 am:

I have my suspicions about who this could be…

As if the recent trend of direct-to-DVD horror movies using cheap stock photos for their covers wasn’t bad enough, now they’re ripping off 20-year-old comic books. LAME.

I’ve been putting a Zazzle Store together and submitted this shirt design last night:

Today I got a rejection email from Zazzle (first time that’s happened), which stated the following:

• Product Title: I Don’t Sparkle… BUT I BITE! Shirt
• Result: Not Approved
• Policy Violations: Your product has been removed from Zazzle’s Marketplace due to an infringement claim by Summit Entertainment. This may be due to the actual design of the product, description, search tags or character names that references the Twilight Saga which is owned by Summit Entertainment.

When I wrote back questioning how anybody could own the word “sparkle”, this is the response I got:

Unfortunately, it appears that your product did not meet Zazzle Acceptable Content Guidelines. Specifically, your product infringes upon the intellectual property rights of Summit Entertainment, Inc. A sparkling vampire is reference to the Twilight series.

We have been contacted by Summit Entertainment, Inc, and at their request,  have removed the product from the Zazzle Marketplace.  For more information or questions with regards to this removal please contact Summit Entertainment, Inc. at http://www.summit-ent.com/

Sheesh. I figured Summit would be a bit touchy about the anti-Twilight/anti-sparkly-vampire backlash, but wow. I’m also impressed by the timeframe – it was only a couple of hours between the time I created the shirt and the time it was taken down, which means Summit has somebody bird-dogging sites like Zazzle around the clock. Again may I just say: Sheesh.

Chad Savage: I’m curious – do you know anything about me or the type of websites I do?
[OTHER GUY]: which type
[OTHER GUY]: tell me
Chad Savage: You didn’t answer the question.
Chad Savage: Different question: How is it that you IM’d me?
Chad Savage: Where did you get my name?
[OTHER GUY]: why r u getting upset
[OTHER GUY]: ?
Chad Savage: I’m not upset. These are very, very simple questions.
Chad Savage: That you aren’t answering.
[OTHER GUY]: i don’t know about u n your sites

Some guy just IM’d me wanting to do a link exchange. His sites were total affiliate-based garbage, and he couldn’t name any site of mine (specifically) that he wanted to exchange links with (he kept asking me to suggest my own sites that matched the crappy links he wouldn’t stop sending). When I gave him an undeservedly polite “No, thanks”, he pressed the issue and demanded to know why.

To my credit, I did not use the terms “parasite” or “jackass” in my explanation, nor did I accuse him specifically of being everything that’s wrong with the internet.

The Moral of the Story: If you try to inflict your useless bullshit on strangers, and they say “no”, accept it. You’re not in a position to be indignant.

(4:32:58 PM) Michael Wa: Hello, welcome to HostGator Live Chat.
(4:32:59 PM) Michael Wa: How may I assist you today?
(4:33:11 PM) Chad: Quick question (I hope) – I have a client with a dedicated server hosting account – he sold the site that was the primary reason for the DS – now he’s left with the server and a handful of sites that just don’t need that much muscle.
(4:33:55 PM) Chad: How difficult is it to downgrade to a shared server plan?
(4:34:07 PM) Chad: Bearing in mind – WordPress and Coppermine Gallery installations and suchlike; databases that’d have to be transferred. I’ve had terrible luck with HG in the past with that sort of thing.
(4:34:48 PM) Michael Wa: Well you would have to order the hosting account new, then unfortunately we cannot assist with downgrades so you would have to transfer things like that yourself.
(4:35:00 PM) Chad: So HG offers no help on this?
(4:37:05 PM) Michael Wa: Unfortunateyl not with downgrades no.
(4:37:55 PM) Chad: So what’s my incentive to stay with HostGator, if you don’t mind me asking? It’d be no more difficult to move to a different provider under these circumstances.
(4:40:19 PM) Michael Wa: Well we just don’t assist with downgrades that is just a policy I do apologize for that. I would like to think that your incentive is our great service and 24/7 support.

Yeah, Michael. Let me know how that works out for you.

Earlier today I got severely undercut on a design job bid by a competitor who is already notorious in the (admittedly small) world of horror/haunt designers for doing that sort of thing. I can live with being undercut; that’s just a fact of life. What concerned me was the amount by which he undercut me – fully half of what I bid, which was reasonable from the beginning.

Then, just now, I heard on a podcast that another newcomer genre competitor is offering a full suite of design services through the end of the year for a preposterously low price.

So I’m pissed off, and not because there are people offering the same services I offer for less money – that’ll always be the case. I have a level of knowledge and experience at this point that no discounts or marketing ballyhoo by would-be competitors can touch. I do solid work and I stand by it.

What I can’t fathom is how short-sighted this whole doing-the-work-for-way-less-than-it’s-worth approach is. It’s beyond naive. The prices I’m hearing are clearly intended to do two things (as near as I can figure): First, get the work. Second, make sure nobody else gets the work. For somebody trying to make a name for themselves and build a smallish portfolio, I get it. You grab whatever jobs you can, even if you’re effectively working for free, so that you can build the book and client list.

Problem is, these prices aren’t reasonable (for the designer) or realistic (for the market). Sooner or later, both of these guys are going to need to start charging what the work is actually worth, and that’s when they’ll realize (too late, of course) that they’ve trained their clients to expect graphic/web design work for virtually no money. And this benefits… who? How?

Picture it like this: You have a hot dog stand on a street corner, and you’ve had it for 20 years. You charge $1.00 per dog. You have to pay the city a license to sell your dogs, you have to buy the dogs, buns, mustard, etc., and you have to pay yourself a salary for standing on your corner selling the dogs for 8 hours a day. So, the price of your hot dog, given all that, is more than reasonable.

Then a new guy sets up a hot dog stand across the street, and he’s only charging 10 cents for his hot dogs. Now, you know, for a fact, that he’s only doing it to attract new customers (including yours). You also know that charging 10 cents per dog means he’s losing money on every dog he sells, which means he can’t possibly maintain that price indefinitely. So in the short term, he might get all the customers, but after a point he’s going to have to charge what those dogs are worth (or go out of business), and by then everybody’s going to be used to spending 10 cents on a hot dog. So where does that leave every hot dog vendor in the city?

Those of us who do this professionally and maintain a realistic pricing menu have to contend with these guys muddying the waters and creating ridiculously unrealistic expectations within the marketplace. I charge roughly half of what I’m worth for the work I do because I want to do it for people who don’t have a ton of money. That’s a choice I made when I decided to specialize in horror, Halloween and haunted attraction visual design, and one I’ve never regretted. I can only hope these guys will come to their senses and stop what is, ultimately, an incredibly destructive tactic.

The bottom line: When you sell something for less than it’s worth, you devalue it. Period.

Seriously weird, wild & woolly dreams. I very rarely remember my dreams, but I clearly remember that last night I was living in a house by a lake with a local legend about a monster in it. Went out one night and there it was, big as life (and a house) – a hideous hybrid of caterpillar, lobster and squid. I was very excited – I mean, hey, look! There it is! It’s real! Went running back to the house to call somebody only to realize that IT had seen ME. Was about to run up the stairs to the house and spotted a stealthy, probing tentacle sneaking up between the steps. It was waiting for me… then I woke up.

Like I said. Weird.

So here’s what I learned from the epic (and genuinely horrifying) zombie holocaust dream I had last night:

1. Whenever it’s possible, run. Staying and fighting gives more zombies a chance to show up.
2. Secure the bodies of the people that just got killed by zombies, even if you’re still dealing with those zombies, ’cause if you don’t, in a minute, there’ll be a couple more zombies.
3. Everything is a weapon if you hit the zombie hard enough with it. In the face. Repeatedly. I killed one with an old metal 3-hole paper puncher.
4. Basement or upstairs? Upstairs. You can destroy a staircase and find a way down later; you can’t get out of a basement. Ben had that right in NOTLD.
5. Zombies that have been dead for awhile come apart easier than you’d think; even their jaws. Grab a piece and yank. Repeat until the zombie is… ineffective.
6. Don’t let your child out of your sight EVEN. FOR. A. SECOND.
7. If new people show up, let them in if you can. They might be able to help.
8. If new people show up surrounded by zombies only a few feet away… too bad for them. Better them than you.
9. When the guys in lab coats and biohazard suits show up, things might have just gotten worse.
10. If you see a dinosaur in the distance, relax. You’re just dreaming.

The sad thing is, this photo needs no caption