2 months (almost exactly) after buying a new Dell desktop computer, it wouldn’t launch. Couldn’t get it to do anything, at all. Got in touch (via chat) with Dell Support. He had me disconnect all peripherals and reboot, which worked, thank god. I told him I’d run standard maintenance tools immediately and asked if there were any diagnostics I could run to identify the cause of the problem. The response:

“I would recommend if the system is working fine then there is no need to do any trouble shooting but if in case it dose not work you need to perform System Restore, but that will wipe all information from your system.”

So this support rep’s solution, if there were ANY FURTHER PROBLEMS: Wipe the machine and start from factory defaults.

For the uninitiated: Imagine if your car didn’t start. You call a mechanic and say “My car won’t start”. The mechanic says “Check the battery connectors and try to start it again”. You do, and it works. You ask the mechanic “Is there anything I can do to make sure this doesn’t happen again?” The mechanic says “Replace the entire engine.”

Yes. That’s a bit extreme. There are various things that you can do to insure your car works correctly/better. Same with the computer, but this guy, apparently, didn’t want to bother talking to me about them.

Thanks, Dell. Can’t wait to see what your support reps tell me when there’s a serious problem. “Go buy a new computer. Might we suggest a Dell?”

*Addendum: Yes, the tech support guy helped me fix my computer, and I appreciate that. But (a) his solution was a stock response that, frankly, I should have remembered to try myself, (b) he actually suggested that I take no further action to investigate why my computer wouldn’t start, and (c) if it hadn’t worked, he would’ve had me go to an unnecessary extreme right away. Hence the bitching above.